Komen was such an amazing experience! I was so uplifted by the support from all my team members, the crowd and all the Komen volunteers and Board Members, and of course the VIP treatment. I completely surprised myself by speaking at the Jen Pagani Tough Cookie Award presentation. And I was so humbled and tickled to receive the medal also.
All that fun, paired with lots of radiation finally hit me hard, very hard. I basically couldn’t do much of anything the week following the race. I was hysterically tired. I tried not to show it to the boys, tried to be present and happy and engaged when they needed me. I basically had the energy to do one “thing” a day, it was all I could do. No laundry, meals, errands, straightening… I dropped everything else, made me sad, frustrated, made me wonder…
Last week, feeling more rested but far from “normal”, Joe and I left for Quebec (like old France right here in North America), our first trip alone in 3 years. The first night there we left dinner suddenly because I felt like a stomach bug was coming on. Rocco got big time throw ups right before we left (Gammy took good care of him in our absence though). We panicked a bit about what would happen if I fell ill with the flu in a foreign country, far from home, and with socialized medicine to boot. I prayed hard that first night and I woke up feeling like I was fighting something but was gonna be okay. Thank You God! Our vacay turned out great. We had un-interrupted time together to talk, laugh, see the sights and rest. We even did an impromptu zip line/climbing adventure by the Montmorency waterfall. It was amazing, empowering, good for my spirit but after the thrill wore off it totally crushed me physically. As soon as we made it back to the hotel I stayed in bed for 18 hours straight. I slept and slept and slept. It was obviously what I needed but also concerning. I can’t seem to recover. I feel like me body is failing me and it is very worrisome.
We returned to Charlotte Monday night after a tiring day of travel. Tuesday it was chemo time again. It kicked my ass. I have been on the couch since. I have not showered, been outside or done much of anything other than watch bad TV in the dark. I am grumpy, feel helpless and feel like things are looking a bit bleak. Today is Friday and I still feel like shit. (Oh I do have another sinus infection too). I need quiet, dark and time alone. But its Friday and we have school bingo night tonite. I will go, it is important to both boys. I want to go but not really because I feel so bad. People will see me and think, wow she’s out, she must be doing well. I’m not, that frustrates me too. And the rest of the weekend is full of their activities. I will do what I can and pretend to feel okay for some of it. I know I can’t do it all though.
While in QC I also discovered two more enlarged, fixed and very tender nodes (naturally). This time in my left groin (right where the hip meets the torso) and exactly where my cancerous nodes were on the right side. Not good, this will most likely mean a
. We meet with Gary on Halloween to see if he has any other chemo options to re-try. Thus far, his one suggestion has been unacceptable from a quality of life stand point. I’m still on the pain patch and take additional pain meds on most days. It is controlling most of the discomfort from the radiated tumors. Additional tumors and ones that have grown since radiation now are causing quite a bit of discomfort despite the patch. Worrisome for sure.
Thanks for hanging in through this very long post. Please pray for me- to feel better, have less pain, for energy to get back into my life and that Gary pulls another drug out of his hat that’ll buy me some more, QUALITY, time. And please pray for my friend Paula. She is in the hospital right now with a possible severe infection, or even worse, cancer that has progressed to the point where it may threaten her life.
We’re back from paradise (Wrightsville) and have resumed our normal lives once again. As per Pagani usual, we hit the ground runnin’. I had my radiation set up appointment today. We’re covering a good portion of the front of my torso, up back along my right shoulder blade and my right groin/upper thigh (yes, I have breast cancer in the subq tissues of my leg, go figure). Shouldn’t be too horrible (feel free to remind me of this in a few weeks when it is horrible). But, bonus, I don’t start til Monday ’cause they wont have all the calculations ready in time to start tomorrow. Fab news because to tomorrow eve is the pahtay! Yay!
Here are the deets-
Team Go Jen Go Party- Friday, September 27th. We’ll be selling Go Jen Go team shirts for everyone to wear to the Komen Race as well as to sport around town to show your continued support for the cause. Proceeds for the shirts will go to the Go Jen Go Foundation.
6 – 10 PM
3924 Oldfield Road (28226) in the Kingswood neighborhood @ the Keogh’s house again!
BBQ, Beer, Wine (and maybe even some water) and Live Music….
Our AMAZING partners and friends from Komen will also be at the party providing race registration including t-shirt, bib and packet! Please join us this Friday night and sign up to Run for the Cure or Sleep in for the Cure.
Click the link below to register for the Go Jen Go Komen team today!
See ya tomorrow! J
Are you a registered runner for GoJenGo’s Race for the Cure team or want to sign up? To pick up your packet and information or to register come Friday to the pre-race party. Come enjoy beverages, Mac’s BBQ and live music starting at 6 p.m., September 27th at 3924 Oldfield Road. In addition, you can purchase race shirts that evening. Your Invited this Friday!
Some amazing YOUNG entrepreneurs from Beverly Woods Elementary are supporting local survivors! Please join them and the South Park Youth Association in supporting National Breast Cancer Awareness Month by wearing pink socks on game day during the month of October. When you purchase through this order form all proceeds will benefit GoJenGo. Orders must be received by Tuesday, Sept 24th for distribution the week of Sept 30th. Pink Sock Order Form
Are you a breast cancer survivor or know someone who’s bravely fighting the battle?
Please bring a friend and join me as we begin planning various FUN-draising events to support the incredible needs of the GoJenGo Foundation.
This October, I’ll be giving away 15% of my party sales to GoJenGo. By sharing the love of jewelry, you can help provide financial assistance to individuals and families that are battling breast cancer in our own community. In celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (October), we’ll be kicking off the start of many fun activities that will change the lives and positively impact as many families as we can touch!
This is a VERY casual gathering, and a quick drop in is just fine! Hope you can join me.
Click here to see invitation:
Wow, today is the first day since school began that I haven’t had a single appointment, pressing concern (we had a yard sale Saturday, and yes we are gluttons for punishment), school commitment or speaking engagement. Whew! Too bad tomorrow is chemo time again, blech! Today I need to get some things done (always a bit of a mad, pre-treatment rush to accomplish before I get way behind again) but I’m tired, not really motivated, kinda in a semi-stupor (some might argue my permanent state these days) and trying to rest my right leg which is swollen from cancerous nodes (grrrr-for breast cancer this disease has managed to effect just about every part of my body in some way, death from a thousand cuts and all that). I’m not sleeping well at all, no position comfortable for long, too many active cancerous areas that flat out hurt, despite pain meds. And my dreams, they continue to hound me, they’re the usual variations of the same- the expectation that I must continue to perform some impossible task while a clocks counts down in the background, there’s no hiding from my sub-conscious, though most nights I pray there is. So today maybe I’ll manage to check some boxes off my list, but we’ll have to wait and see how the day plays out.
But all the whining aside, last week was really quite good. The boys finally both went to school for almost a full week (not LD Monday), and we started our 1st fall sport too- swim team for Rocco. I was the lunchroom helper for both boys classes which was precious and informative. It was good to see the boys interacting with their classmates and put names to all the little faces. I also had the opportunity to share our cancer story, the mission of the GJG Foundation and of GJG’s commitment to the folks at Consolidated Planning and McGladrey, both companies supporters of GoJenGo, Komen and have corporate commitments to serving our community. And, Luca lost his first tooth yesterday, milestone! Last night he went to bed pondering how much the tooth fairy would give him for it, “it’s really small, but it is my first one” . He made $4. Rocco, the stinker, tried to spoil the affair by looking me dead in the eye and saying that daddy and I were the real fairies. I’m not sure if I should worry that my gaze never waivered when I fired right back that that would be ridiculous and what would parents possibly do all those teeth? He said they would bury them in their back yards, hope he’s not a mobster in the making. He’s already got a great name for it…
Yikes, I’m going on and on, sorry! Race for the Cure is less than a month away! Please join Team GoJenGo and support Komen. They fund life saving early detection and education programs and support breast cancer research.
OMG, I almost forgot, “how bout them Dawgs”?!?! Jen
These cool race tshirts are coming hot off the presses! RunJenRun packet pickups start TOMORROW! You can go to the Charlotte Running Company in Dilworth between 4pm and 7pm OR you can head to South Charlotte on Friday and go to the Charlotte Running Company – South in Ballantyne from 4-7pm. Click on the tshirt above to get details, directions, and/or maps!
And if you are one of the five or so people in Charlotte who HAVEN’T signed up, better do it fast! You don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to have the INAUGURAL RunJenRun Tshirt. Just you wait…it is bound to be a collector’s item!
See you at McAlpine Park!